Some days I wake up and I just, plain and simple, don’t want to blog. But I do, because I made a public declaration on my blog last year that I would post five days a week. And the natural human condition causes us to want to appear consistent, to practice what we preach. Every couple of months I’ll skip a day, but I always feel guilty about it, like I’ve broken my word and I’ve let someone down. It’s absurd, really- no one’s going to come after me if I fail to post riveting new information. And yet it sort of feels like I’m playing hooky, like I’m disappointing someone.

This morning was one of those days. I’ve been sitting at my computer for nearly two hours now, starting new sentences with the intention of writing some hard-hitting blog post about the meaning of life, only to get frustrated and press the delete key until my canvas is once again blank. Staring wildly around my office, desperate for inspiration so that I can write SOMETHING for today’s blog. I keep a list of blogging ideas in my desk for this very reason, but nothing on that list really appealed to me today. Maybe it’s the rain drumming on my window, or the fact that I woke with the same crick in my spine that’s been bothering me since Saturday. But today? Today, I’m in a funk. And that’s ok.

I know I’m not the only one who feels the pressure to always be on, always be smiling, and always be my peppy, cheerful self. And most days I fall into it incredibly naturally- I love looking toward the days and weeks to come with bright, hopeful eyes. But sometimes, just sometimes, I want to retreat. To burrow back under the safety of my duvet, turn off my iPhone, and hide out with a good book until my husband gets home. And then I feel guilty about wanting to retreat, guilty about taking this life for granted, for failing to appreciate just how incredibly blessed I am. But Emily Ley’s wall art says it best and gets me every single time I’m down and out: “I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.”

I’m human. We all are. This means I’m going to fall short, I’m going to mess up, and I’m going to have those occasional off days. And it’s ok :). As long as I pick myself back up again and remind myself that those failures DON’T define me. I am more than the number of comments on any individual blog post, I am more than my blog stats, and if I miss a day of blogging and it throws off my average number of hits that week? It’s not the end of the world, not the end of MY world. I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

Happy Tuesday, friends