“I saw you’re going to Italy again- that’s so exciting! Is Matt coming with you?”

“Nope! It’s just me :).”

And then the inevitable head-cocked-to-the-side-in-slight-confusion moment. “But…why?”

International travel on your own- Edinburgh, Scotland- Abby Grace Photography

It’s a comPLETELY reasonable question. Matt is my best friend, my favorite travel partner-why wouldn’t we go together? I think my own mother was confused the first time I traveled internationally by myself. You probably already know this about me, but I’m 100% an extrovert. I love people, I love crowds, I love big group hangouts, people people people! So why on earth would someone as extroverted as myself want to travel on their own?

International travel on your own- Paris, France- Abby Grace Photography

Matt and I did London, Stamford, Surrey and Paris together in 2013, places we’d gone to mostly for me and my interests. I’d had a wedding in Surrey, an engagement in London, and I’d ALWAYS wanted to see Paris. So we went, and had an incredible time! Once we got home, I decided it was Matt’s turn to choose our next vacation- “Sky’s the limit, babe! Where do you want to go? Anywhere in the world, it’s your choice.” I’d been thinking he’d say Italy or Greece, since he’d always had a penchant for ancient Greek + Roman culture and history.

But no, this was his answer: “I think I’d really just like to go to the Outer Banks for a week.”

My world-exploring self’s mouth actually dropped open. Like, wait a sec- I’m telling you the world is your oyster, and you want to go to North Carolina?? I was actually upset with him- “why aren’t you dreaming bigger? Didn’t you hear me? I said ANYWHERE in the world!”

International travel on your own- Paris, France- Abby Grace Photography

And then this became one of those teachable moments in our marriage- I learned that to Matt, in order for a vacation to be restful for him, it needs to be relaxing. Me, I love adventure! I love going new places, exploring new cultures, walking til I’m good and lost in those twisting, turning alleys in Aix-en-Provence. But Matt? Matt would be just as thrilled to rent a beach house for a week and hang out playing board games, reading a favorite book or watching a movie together on the couch at night. And while I still don’t really understand his indifference to world travel, I’m learning that it’s important for me to respect that about him, rather than pushing my dream travels on an unenthusiastic husband.

International travel on your own - Stamford, England - Abby Grace Photography

When I realized that my artistic soul needed to go back to Paris, I recognized that it might be a better idea for me to go by myself. Matt had fun in Paris, but it didn’t do the same thing for him that it did for me- Paris lit my soul on fire. So rather than use up his vacation time, pay for two plane tickets, train fares, and meals for two, it might just be a better idea for me to go by myself. So that’s exactly what I did!

International travel on your own- Edinburgh, Scotland- Abby Grace Photography

And friends, it was one of the best things I’ve ever done as an artist. I was able to pick which countries I wanted to go to, explore where I wanted, get lost for hours at a time, stop for as many photographs as I wanted, take a simple dinner of an apple, a baguette and water at Montmartre without worrying it wouldn’t be sufficient for my travel partner. In essence, I could embrace the selfishness of whatever I wanted to do without needing to consult with anyone else. It gave way for more inspiration that I was prepared for, and I came home full to the brim.

Traveling solo- why I do it

May 19, 2015

  1. Kelley says:

    I think that’s so.freaking.awesome! Love it!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I have followed your blog for several years and I have to admit I have wondered why your hubby doesn’t go with you, dang I am jealous of your trips how can he not be?! Now it makes sense. I do love your adventures, and hopefully you get many more in the upcoming years.

  3. Daisy says:

    You’re a gal after my own heart! My husband and I are the same way. I LOVE to travel alone. I love traveling with my husband too but I really enjoy just taking in all of the beauty however my heart leads in that moment. Well done lady!

  4. I dream of going to ALL these places someday!

  5. I’m fairly certain that we’re married to the same man! haha My husband would much rather spend a quiet night at home than be off exploring the world! If he does want to go on vacation it tends to be something outdoorsy and athletic, whereas I get my fix on culture and history and exploring cities and towns! There’s not a place in europe that I don’t want to go!

    I’ve never been brave enough to run off on my own, but your post makes me want to! Looking forward to meeting you at Creative at Heart this fall! <3

  6. Tina says:

    More power to you, lady! I LOVE to travel and see new places but don’t know if I could ever do it alone. I dream of visiting all the places you visit one day and who knows – maybe I’ll get the bug and want to go back and back all over again, even without Jose! lol But it’s so awesome that you love it, do it and can enjoy your own schedule!

  7. Karen Field aka Mom says:

    We’re the opposite. Your father likes to plan out a trip for us both and include special things I would enjoy, like this last trip to Europe. It was a delight to let him make all of the decisions about the mechanics of getting around and sleeping and then I usually got to pick the foods we’d eat. I count on his skills as a photographer but I told him the set up of many of the pictures I wanted and then he knows how to execute them. I love having him for a travel partner!

  8. I love your photos and same as you, I love to travel to. I wish to go to Paris in the future.

  9. Erin Schrad says:

    I actually love traveling by myself… Especially as a photographer. Often when I want to photograph is when other people want to eat or something, so by myself I feel free to stop when I want to stop and linger in places and take all the photos I want without feeling like I’m holding someone else up. About the only person I can travel “alone” with is my mom because she accommodates me doing that… But even then it’s sometimes easier to be solo!

  10. Rebekah says:

    Strikes me as very intriguing that I am a total introvert & yet I do NOT like to travel by myself, at least not anywhere more than about 5 hrs away or for more than 2 days. However, I do love going out to eat, shopping, & going to the movies by myself.

  11. Sydni says:

    This is so good!! I love traveling on my own, and my husband prefers relaxing vacations too, whereas I prefer the more adventurous type. We are both introverts though – you don’t have to be extroverted to love adventurous trips and vacations!! I love doing my own thing and taking it all in 🙂

  12. […] wrote a post a couple of months ago about why I like traveling solo, and after my most recent international trip, I figured now’s a good time to follow up with […]

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