I’m really thankful that I no longer work in a corporate office for a myriad of reasons, and one of the major-day-to-day reliefs of working from home is that I don’t have to impress anyone with my outfits each day! Believe it or not, one of the most stressful parts for me of my old job was coming up with coordinated outfits each day that were appropriate for the environment in which I worked. Fashion isn’t something that’s ever come easily to me- I’m much more comfortable in a simple dress + sandals than I would be in high heels, jeans, a cute top + a jillion accessories. I have certain outfits in my closet that I’ve concocted (typically with help from someone else), and I’m comfortable rocking those pre-arranged combinations. But getting me to stray into the “creative” part of outfit assembly? I get really anxious over it.

I stress out when it comes to dressing for engagement sessions and client meetings. If I don’t have at least an hour beforehand to go through my closet and assemble something appropriate, I’m a total mess. I’m genuinely envious of people like Jen & Ashley whose style comes so effortlessly that they always look like they’ve stepped off the pages of the latest celebrity gossip magazine. For me, coordinating outfits takes a lot of thought and planning beforehand. When I was packing for The Big Next, I spent THREE DAYS going through my closet, trying on different outfits and modeling them for Matt. And even then, the results were lackluster. I didn’t understand why, if I was putting together outfits based on what I saw other people wearing, why didn’t I feel comfortable? Why didn’t I like the results?

Finding your style- Abby Grace Photography

And then I had a major lightbulb moment in the form of miss Mary Marantz. We were sitting down for my mentoring session on ShowItLIVE and she began to question me about my style- how would I describe my brand? My shooting style? My taste in clothes? I began spitting out answers to all of the above- “Oh, my shooting style is organic, classic, authentic, my fashion sense is pretty basic [nonexistent]- I revert back to simple combinations and classic pieces, and my brand? My brand is clean, modern, think white cotton linen… with a splash of Anthropologie.”

That’s where Mary stopped me. “Ok, so from everything you just described, you sound more like a black-dress-and-pearls kind of girl.” “Yes, definitely!” “Right- now, how does Anthropologie fit into that?” I fumbled around a bit, stuttered over how much I love Anthro’s homewares, and then Mary did what Mary does best- she cut straight to the heart of the matter. “Do you like Anthropologie because YOU actually like it? Or because you think you’re supposed to like it?”

Oh…

Duh.

No WONDER I get anxiety over composing “trendy” outfits. No WONDER why it never feels right shooting those “key shots” you see on every wedding blog, shots I don’t personally like in the first place. No WONDER I’d been having such a hard time creating a cohesive branding experience. Because I was trying to dress myself, refine my brand, and present my work the way I thought I was SUPPOSED to want to do it, not in a way that actually reflects who I am. I’ve been attempting to dress in the way I see so many of my trendy friends dress, but it never feels quite right, like wearing someone else’s broken-in Rainbow flip-flops.

Finding your style- Abby Grace Photography

I know we’re talking a lot about clothing, but after my chat with Mary, I began to see how my efforts to emulate others’ fashion have spilled over into my business.  And as much as I love my brand, love my website, now I know why parts of it don’t feel *quite* right- because the website E&L so beautifully designed for me, a website that far surpassed my expectations and went above and beyond what I envisioned, was designed based on a projected person that I described to my designers. I described the kind of person I wished I was when filling out my client questionnaire- someone who listens to trendy music and wears trendy clothes and does trendy things. Like enjoying pumpkin spice lattes. Guys, I HATE pumpkin spice lattes! I created this cooler, more stylish idea of myself in my head and gave that to my designers, hoping that if they created a website based on a cooler version of me, perhaps it’d turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Even writing that in a blog post feels ridiculous.

The point of this entire thing is to express two things. a) My RELIEF! Being able to throw off the pretext of trying to look and dress like everyone else and being able to shop for what makes ME happy has made walking into Target SO much easier. 2) My understanding- now that I can see where I went wrong in the design process for my brand, it’s time to go back and hone things in a bit. I’m not talking about an entire rebrand- that’s neither necessary nor desired. I really do LOVE my website + blog! But I think, if I’m trying to tailor my brand to my personality, that there are a few things that need tweaking, and they’re significant enough that I need a bit of help.

It was a little disheartening to realize that I was going to have to refine my brand a bit- we just launched in July, after all. But a business built on a person that isn’t actually ME, just a cooler projection of me, isn’t EVER going to feel like it fits right. Like wearing your best friend’s jeans or somebody else’s baseball cap. And I’ve finally come to the conclusion that being me, JUST me, is good enough on its own.

Finding your style- Abby Grace Photography

Happy Thursday!

Confessions of a Fashion Fiasco

January 31, 2013

  1. Anna Filly says:

    OH sweet girl, I NEEDED this! Ah! Thank you so much for your authenticity and vulnerability! It’s so true! I could amen this all day long 🙂

  2. Abby, I’ve felt this same thing a dozen times. Thanks so much for verbalizing it, and challenging me to think. AGAIN. I’m in the rebranding process, myself (I started back in July), and part of what has taken so long is working through all of what I think I should be, and getting down to what/who I REALLY AM, and what I have to offer to my clients.

    Cheering for you. Grateful for you and your honesty. Let’s grab coffee soon? It would be fun to swap notes on this!

  3. Alicia says:

    Thank you for putting this out there and being so honest — it’s refreshing! I think we all struggle sometimes to be the best version of ourselves because it’s scarier than being a version of someone else. But seriously, pumpkin lattes are the worst!

  4. a great realization, and I can’t wait to see how this plays out for you. Love your brand and website now, but I am anxious to see what the TRUE reflection of your personal style will look like translated into your branding. it will be wonderful, I am sure 🙂

  5. Tina Raquel says:

    Such a great blog post! I can relate so much, it’s always something we struggle with – to fit into what we think we have to – thanks for sharing! And I love that photo of the spider web!

  6. jamie says:

    i so appreciate your honesty and your words. you know who you are and it will soon show as refine your brand. your work is beautiful.

  7. Jean says:

    I watched you squirm while Mary was questioning you about Anthropology and could see that light bulb moment in your expression. You are unique and you don’t have to follow current trends to be fashionable. You have your own natural beauty that shines no matter what you are wearing. Love you.

  8. Amelia Renee says:

    I feel like I’ve been struggling with the exact same thing!!! I’m super indecisive, which doesn’t help, but it’s hard being a people pleaser & also having to tell people “who you are” when it comes to branding—I always feel like I should make them happy. Here’s to a year of being just US & the amazing creations God made us from the start! So encouraged by your honesty, sweet Abby! thank you! 🙂

  9. Jill Samter says:

    BRAVO!!! Cheering you on to being the best you and knowing everyone will love you that much more!!!!

    Our unique gifts are what make us each so special. Enjoy sharing yours! God blessed you to be the most amazing you!!!!!!!!

    xo

  10. Dude pumpkin spice lattes are gross. And I LOVE pumpkin flavored things.

  11. Tori Watson says:

    this is SUCH a freeing and wonderful place to come to, isn’t it?? i think we have ALL been there at times in our life, our brands, our businesses. it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others and think our life or business or creative eye needs to look like THIS person’s in order to be good enough. heck, it’s hard to not feel like i need to cook more and enjoy it more, etc, to be as good of a wife as someone else. but if we move through life pretending to be someone we’re not, we can’t have genuine growth because we’re not even being honest with ourselves.

    sooo. all of that to say. i’m so happy for you & this break through & can’t wait to see how you continue to hone your brand to be YOU. 🙂

  12. Kristin says:

    Love this so much!

  13. Karen Field says:

    I love watching you being so honest with yourself when presented with a challenging thought or idea. I also love that you share that here on your blog. You are unwilling to be anything but the real you when posting. The authentic you is what your readers really appreciate about you. Wonderful post! Mom

  14. Rosa says:

    I always envy those that have it all put together when I see pretty branding or websites, but to read this post from you helps me realize that it’s ok to take my time in figuring out my personal style…. oh! and as for Anthropologie, I love the IDEA of it, as much as I would love it to be MY style, I always end up at Banana republic… now THAT is more me 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and helping us along that way 😉

  15. ashley link says:

    girl! i feel like every post you write is perfect! you have such a way worth words and describing how i think so many of us feel! i love it! keep doing YOU! 🙂 also, i hate pumpkin spice blah blah too haha. 🙂

  16. Abby, this is so refreshing! I’m definitely not the pumpkin spice latte girl or the little black dress girl, but I took one solid month to pretend I had an unlimited amount of money to re-design my wardrobe and dream home. I used inspiration boards on Wanelo and Pinterest. The items I was drawn to were all the same type of style, and all uniquely mine. I just redid my own website and blog, and while I’m unsure if I’ve quite reached *IT* yet, I am definitely closer and in LOVE with the results. I am so excited to see what the real Abby Grace is all about, because the world definitely needs more of the classic, little black dress kind of ladies. 😉

  17. Hannah Forsberg says:

    Your honesty is so wonderful. I can’t wait to see you make your brand more you!

  18. Eryn Kesler says:

    I am loving seeing these things come together for you, it’s inspiring:) and I’m laughing at Ashley Barney’s comment!

  19. […] to new opportunities, trying not to stress too much over what I’ll wear, and a God so incredibly good that words fail me at times. And y’all know I don’t have […]

  20. Hollie says:

    I am SO with you on this! I’ll look at the Anthro website and think “Why don’t I like this stuff???”. I want to like it! I just don’t. haha! I love reading your blog!!

  21. Annamarie says:

    Abby I love this post so much and really appreciated your honesty in it! I’m with you on the Anthro clothing..there are a few things that I like if I really search..but overall there clothes are not really me…(now their house stuff..that’s another story!)…but it feels so good to embrace who you are and this really challenged me to continue embracing who I am! I have a couple go-to outfits in my mind for things like client meetings and esessions..and sometimes I’ll wear the same outfit multiple days in a row if I won’t be seeing the same people (because I worked hard to put that outfit together…haha!)…but I feel like I did what you were talking about with my first brand..I’m so excited to have my new one really reflect me and not who I thought I was supposed to be…you are awesome! Cheering for you as you continue to grow and move forward! 🙂

  22. aLydi says:

    Abby, thank you so much for being courageous and posting this! I’ve had the fear that I will go through the whole rebranding process and not be able to figure out who I am or that who I am will be boring because it’s not like everyone else! You’ve given me to push to keep digging deeper and through off my preconceived notions of what I _should_ be like and instead be true to who God made me!

  23. I found myself doing the same thing initially when I was first rebranding a few years back and thankfully my cousin called me out on it right away. She said, “This stuff is super cute and really ‘in’ right now – but it isn’t YOU…. You know what I mean?” And I was like… OH. Yeah… I guess you’re right. I’m so thankful for her honestly because it got me on the right track early on. I love this post so much and your honesty! I find myself getting caught up in these things too & trying to dress cute/cool/whatever and realizing I just don’t feel like myself! No fun! xoxo!

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