It was a typical weekday night in mid-November of 2013- I was sitting on the couch in the living room, most likely working on a blog post or edits, and Matt was in the kitchen doing the dishes. I heard the tinkling sound of breaking glass, rolled my eyes, and asked “what was it that broke?”

He came into the living room looking like he was bracing for what was coming next- “it was one of your pink wine glasses…”

I was SO frustrated. Those glasses were my favorites- I’d bought them for a styled shoot the year before and ended up keeping them because I liked them so much. They were a HomeGoods buy, so of course, I had no idea who the maker was, and there was no way to find any more of them.

After voicing my displeasure + all of the above at a louder-than-necessary volume, I then proceeded to give him the cold shoulder for a full 24 hours. BECAUSE OF A $14 WINE GLASS, people. The next evening, after being frustrated with a full day of clipped responses and irritability, he leaned on the counter, looked me straight in the eyes and gently said “I don’t feel like I get a lot of grace from you.”

“That’s because I don’t know what grace looks like!” I blurted out in exasperation. One of the most honest things I’ve ever said, really.

Fast forward to about a week later- I’d returned from a leader’s retreat in Santa Barbara a couple days prior, and found myself in need of my laptop. It wasn’t where I usually left it upstairs, and with a jolt I realized:

I’d left my $2,000 Macbook Pro on the plane underneath my seat.

Absolute panic set in: I called United airlines, I called the airport, I called every number that could possibly make any sense to call, but to no avail- the laptop was GONE. My flight was the last one into Dulles that night and I’d sat at the very back of the plane, so someone from the airline or cleaning crew must have picked it up and kept it for themselves. Regardless of where it went, I knew I was never going to see it again.

I collapsed into Matt’s arms, a mess of tears amidst a legitimate panic attack- my own stupidity and forgetfulness were the reason I no longer had my computer, and as my mistake was exponentially bigger than the wine glass the week before, I knew he had EVERY right to be furious with me. I thought, “He’s going to hold this against me for weeks.”

But instead, he pulled me close, let me cry, and told me it was going to be alright. That we’d fix it, that he wasn’t mad at me at all.

I was so utterly confused. “What? I held a broken WINE GLASS over your head for a full 24 hours- how are you not mad about this?!”

“Because I could see that you were already really upset, and I didn’t want to add to it or make you feel any worse.”

Silence.

It was one of my most humbling moments of our entire marriage. See, I always clamor for justice, I always demand the other person pays to make things right again when I’ve been wronged. But that’s grace: unmerited favor. Saying “it’s fine” when it doesn’t make any sense for you not to be angry or upset.

Grace is forgiving your wife for leaving an expensive piece of equipment on an airplane when she refused to forgive you for breaking a silly, cheap piece of glassware.

And grace is declining to demand your pound of flesh, even when you’d be completely justified in wanting payment or restitution.

I am so incredibly grateful that the man whom God created for me defaults to grace instead of always pursuing justice against my shortcomings. Because I have a LOT of shortcomings. His tendency for grace is just one of the many ways I’m learning to see my flaws and can have my sharp edges softened as a result, without a harsh word or condemning conversation. It’s gentle grace- grace that identifies my sin merely by being the example of righteousness, kindness, and goodness.

I’m telling you guys- I have no idea how I tricked him into marrying me. But I’m so, so glad I did.

The Macbook & the Wine Glass | Abby Grace

Photo by the incredible Alicia Lacey

The Wine Glass & the MacBook Pro

August 23, 2016

  1. Ashley Eiban says:

    Oh girl. I totally feel you. I’m the worst at getting upset at the smallest things and holding them all against my husband… even if he wasn’t the reason. So thankful he teaches me grace every day!! Thanks for your realness!!

  2. Jean says:

    You two are so sweet. I love how you care for each other. True love!

  3. This made me cry. You have a good husband, Abby!! His reaction was the most beautiful picture of Christ.

  4. Love you two to pieces! Can’t wait to finally get to meet Matt in person someday. 🙂

  5. Wendy Hodge says:

    Oh this gave me the feels! What a great blog entry. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Gah! I needed this today! You are so wise!

  7. Alicia says:

    Learning and growing with one another is the sign of a strong partnership! You both are so lucky to have one another!!

  8. D-Nice says:

    This made me cry! And I’m in public right now! I’m the girl eating her lunch alone in Panda Express with tears in her eyes. Ha! Thanks for writing this. It hits pretty close to home.

  9. Dad says:

    As much as Laura needed this I needed it more! Thanks for sharing Abs

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