Filed in : Personal

When we first began trying for a family, I’d have fun dreaming up exactly how I’d tell Matt, and then how we’d share our good news with our friends! Gosh, I must have come up with a dozen different ideas, from something with Parisian nodes to a Harry Potter-themed announcement to goodness-Abby-put-a-cork-in-it-already. But as the months turned into years, I learned to stop dreaming of that “we’re pregnant” photo- it was too painful when it turned out to be another “no.” I learned to stop saying “when we have children” and to start tempering my expectations with “if we ever have children.”

When we decided to turn the page from seeking infertility treatments to pursuing adoption, hope of motherhood began to rise again. While there’s always the possibility of a fall-through, we began to feel more confidence that this road was less tempered with “ifs” and “maybes.” The road to adoption is fraught with ups and downs, much like a typical pregnancy- but instead of glucose tests and sonograms, you have home study interviews and reference letters.

Whereas a “typical” pregnancy lasts 40 weeks, we have no idea how long this process may last- it could be 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years!

But despite the differences in process, the fact remains that we are expecting!

April’s self-portrait is in honor of the fact that we are home study approved, and what the adoption world has dubbed “paper pregnant”- expecting a baby, with joy, full of hope, and so very, very excited to see where God takes us over the next few months and years!

Paper pregnant | adoption self-portrait by Abby Grace

So as we settle in and ready ourselves for what could be a VERY long wait, we’re trusting in Psalm 119:105- “Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.”

The thing about God’s word being a “lamp to my feet” is that it doesn’t necessarily illuminate the entire path before us. It’s just enough light to show us where to step next, trusting that, when the time comes to take another step, our God will light that one as well.

It’s hard not knowing when we’ll welcome our child home. But we’re waiting, trusting, and savoring this season, praying for our birth mom & dad, whoever and wherever they are, and praising God for his goodness and faithfulness in the in-between.

Paper Pregnant | April self-portrait

April 30, 2019

  1. Rebekah Carter

    May 1st, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    Yay! I’m so excited for you. You deserve this so much.

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