There are a lot of things that go into planning a wedding, and when you have your bride- or groom-blinders on, it can sometimes be hard to see things without your wedding-tinted glasses making you freak out about seemingly insignificant details. I know, I did the same thing when we were planning our wedding! I got really worked up about the cake flavor, like somehow choosing Chocolate Mousse Bliss for the middle layer instead of Strawberry Delight was going to mean our wedding was a colossal failure. There are some things worth stressing out over when it comes to your wedding, these next 6 bullet points just aren’t one of them. Read on!

Myth #1: More = better. This can be broken down into a hundred different facets, but we’ll narrow it down for the sake of brevity. Americans have been conditioned to believe that receiving MORE of something means they’re receiving a better product, a better deal. And I get it- everyone wants to relive their wedding day through the images, so having a photo from every second of the day is good, right?

Nope. In my experience, the higher the number of images delivered over a certain threshold, the less likely my clients are to print their wedding pictures. Why? Because they are, plain and simple, overwhelmed. Who wants to sit in front of their computer and go through 1500+ images to choose which 15-30 to print for their parents? It’s a daunting task, and you’ll end up putting it off for weeks, then months, then years. And then you’ll find yourself with kids of your own, asking where YOUR wedding photos are!

Instead, I as the photographer take it as my responsibility to cull down your wedding images into a selection of the BEST- images that show the events of the day and the tender moments in between, but also the images that are exposed properly, the ones that are in focus, photographs that are corrected for white balance, and images where everyone’s looking at the camera. So the final batch of images you’re receiving from me is one that’s been carefully curated to show your wedding in the best possible light, while still allowing you to experience it without feeling overwhelmed by the sheer mass of JPGs in your PASS gallery.

Myth #2: You NEED a second shooter. Do I almost always shoot with a second? Yep! Do I always NEED that second shooter? Nope! Sometimes, if the wedding is a small enough affair, the photography package withOUT a second shooter is your best bet. Don’t let The Knot make you feel anxious if you’re going with your favorite photographer and decided not to add on an additional photographer for the sake of your budget.

As a caveat to that, DO consider a second shooter if your wedding is going to have more than 100ish guests, or if there will be activities/ceremonial traditions occurring in rapid fire sequence throughout the evening. Your photographer is a person too, and while we do our best to capture everything that goes on at a wedding, if you know it’s going to be unusually busy, consider booking that second shooter to make sure your photographer’s not totally swamped.

Myth #3: It is essential to have the photographer answer every question on that list from The Knot. Yeah, I sort of have beef with TK. They’re an incredible resource, but they’re also really good at inducing paranoia in brides when there’s often no need for anxiety. The List, and I’m pretty sure you know which one I’m talk about, has been circulating around the interwebs for a few years now. It has 15+ questions for the photographer about everything from the equipment that they shoot with to the clothes they’ll be wearing on the wedding day. Questions that, if we’re being honest, the bride probably doesn’t really care about the answer to- she’s usually just asking because she thinks she’s supposed to do so.

It’s not that averse to answering those questions, it’s that I’d rather spend that time asking YOU about your love story, learning what the first thing was that you noticed about your fiancé. If you’ve hired a true professional for the wedding, don’t sweat about what they and their second will wear on your big day- they’ll be just fine.

Myth #4: If you don’t purchase “[fill in the blank with some sort of add-on to any vendor’s services]” your wedding will pretty much be a failure. Wedding vendors are business people, and we just happen to be in the business of the biggest emotional day of our clients’ lives thus far. And I think there’s a tendency to overdo it with the scare tactics sometimes: if you don’t hire a Photo Booth, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. If you don’t purchase a wedding album, your kids will never see your photos and your marriage might fall apart. Yada yada.

Do vendors have good reasons for wanting to sell you their products? Of course! I genuinely want my couples to have wedding albums because I know THEY will want one, but if they don’t order one, that’s ok too. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that a decision about whether or not to hire a food truck is going to have a lasting impact on your marriage.

Myth #5: You HAVE to do “(fill in the blank with some standard wedding tradition that means absolutely nothing to you).” If the thought of having your new husband remove an undergarment from beneath your dress and throw it into a crowd of single men makes your skin crawl, skip the garter toss. If neither of you like being the center of attention, cut your cake quietly in the corner without having the DJ announce it. If you don’t give a rat’s patootie about something old, new, borrowed or blue, do your thing and SKIP IT.

Myth #6: This is the only time I’m going to have all of the people I love together in one place, so I need to get as MANY photos with everyone in attendance as possible. There’s some wisdom to that sentiment, but here’s the thing: as your photographer, I want to capture your wedding day, and as someone who loves you, I want to capture you ENJOYING your wedding day. I don’t want you to spend your entire reception hunting down your Great Aunt Bertha, + Uncle Albert, + all 47 cousins so that you can get an individual shot with each of them, thus missing out on dancing to that awesome band you hired.

Your wedding is not a photo shoot- get out on that dance floor and enjoy yourself! Please, please don’t get so caught up in capturing images for later that you forget to make memories for yourself right here and now. You’ll be glad for it, your family members will be grateful, and when you look back on that image of you crumping with Great Aunt Bertha, you’re going to love it so much more than a photo of the two of you looking at the camera.