Oooh I wish you guys could have been with me at the first few weddings I photographed. I did the “all black” thing, like most ninjas/vendors. (And when I say all black, I mean like… a black top and black pants, + black shoes, and a simple ponytail or braid). I thought that’s how I was supposed to dress! But then I noticed a difference in the way I was treated on days I wore all black, like most ninjas/vendors, and days I dressed like the guests. On THOSE days, bridesmaids tended to be nicer, family members more appreciative, and other vendors more respectful.
And that’s when I realized, I don’t actually LIKE being treated like “a vendor.” “A vendor” is a nameless, faceless person hired to help execute a wedding day. And while the latter part of that sentence is true, I never want to be nameless or faceless to my couples, because they are never nameless or faceless to me! And, bonus, when I dress like the guests, I tend to be taken a bit more seriously by the older members of family.
Nowadays, I have a few go-to dresses that I wear almost exclusively to weddings. I buy these dresses with the intention of working in them so if anything were to happen to one during the course of a wedding day, my social wardrobe won’t take a hit.
My criteria for wedding day dresses is something like this:
My mindset is that my attire should never, ever serve as a distraction on a wedding day! It’s for this reason that I’d never shoot a wedding in a tulle skirt- as much as I love those, a wedding day isn’t the place for that. It’s also why I steer clear of bright colors or loud patterns! Nothing about my appearance should distract or draw attention unnecessarily.
Here are the dresses that have served me SO well over the last couple of years! (Ignore the casual ponytail- for wedding days, I either curl my hair or put it into a sleek low do)
The black & white cocktail dress- I bought this one from Ann Taylor more than four years ago- it’s perfect for my dressier weddings, and I glitz it up with some sort of fun statement necklace!
The periwinkle frock- This one is from the always helpful Target! I bought it (again) more than four years ago, and I love the flowy sleeves. It’s super comfortable, and I wear this one for a lot of my vineyard weddings, since it’s still dressy without being over-the-top.
The one with POCKETS!- I love this one so much, I actually bought it in a second color! I’ve come to realize they’re a little too casual for a black tie affair, but perfectly at home at a winery or outdoor wedding
And just added a few weeks ago….
I just received this one in the mail in June! It was a BetaBrand kickstarter sort of thing designed BY someone in the wedding industry specifically for photographers- it’s stretchy, flattering, doesn’t show sweat, and has a couple of hidden pockets for things like your phone or a memory card!
I haven’t shot a wedding in this one yet, but I’m excited to use it next month! The only bummer is that it’s solid black, something I try to stay away from to avoid the “vendor” treatment, but I think I can dress it up with a cute pair of flats and maybe a colorful belt? I’ll let you guys know how it goes. Check out the dress for yourself HERE.
See more of my wedding day outfits here!
Find ideas for male photographers’ wedding day attire here!
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© ABBY GRACE PHOTOGRAPHY 2024
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I love wearing dresses to weddings! My new requirement is pockets! They are a MUST. Also, I wear bike shorts under all of my dresses at weddings and even to the park with the kids. I still try to be lady like, but in the event the wind picks up (since mama got big hips and can’t do fitted skirts) and takes my skirt I have no fear of everyone getting a show. 😉
I recognize that setting!
LOVED this post! You know how i feel about this, and one of the things that sets you apart from so many other photographers.
I love all of these dresses! So pretty!! 🙂
So funny, I’ve done the exact opposite of you where I started shooting in color and even some patterned dresses and now won’t wear anything other than black formal. A lot of the weddings I shoot the planner specifies that all vendors need to be black tie though too 🙂
Yes but you always look DRESSY in black! When I say “dress like a vendor,” I mean like… black denim pants and a black polo + sneakers. I’ve seen that get-up on too many videographers before! But you, dear Emilia, always look flawless and elegant.
Hi Abby. Love all the BTS photos!! I started out with dresses in a muted color – light blue, pale lavender, but since I dearly love black leggings (they are so comfortable and make me look thinner) I pair them for casual with a long buttoned front, slightly flowing tunic, which I leave unbuttoned and roll up the sleeves and wear a coordinating sleeveless knit top and comfortable flats, or in the winter, riding boots. For more formal in the church traditional weddings, I have a great pair of Eileen Fisher stretch, dressy black slacks which I pair with a dark purple, dark burgundy or dark blue knit top with 3-quarter length sleeves and my comfortable black flats; or a white flowing tunic top with a long to the knees black extremely light knit open sweater. For more casual outside weddings, I have really cute lavender, green and white pale flowered culottes which I pair with a light purple knit top and my flats! I don’t stand out and have – until someone sees my camera – been thought to be a guest! Love the blog. Thank you!
Love what you said about being like a guest — being like a friend to people.
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